Hey pumpkins,
Honestly, since the tender age of 9 I have fallen in love with handbags and purses. I love them because they are so convenient and so trustworthy. When Marilyn said diamonds are a girl’s best friend it was because she hadn’t yet been exposed to the idea of purses. Had she now, she would’ve known better; but we’ll let her off the hook this time.
The only thing I probably love more than the purse itself is actually wearing it correctly. This is a concept that most Jamaicans are completely oblivious to. A nuh every bag can wear guh everyweh, full time unuh tap di foolishness now man. Cho.
When bossing up you’ve got to understand that appearance matters. That’s where it’s at man. You not only need to act like a boss, but you also need to look like one at all times. So children, I, grandma Azaria, in my wisdom have compiled a list of possible events and the appropriate purses for such occasions. This is to save you from inconvenience and my eyes from the horrible sight of seeing people carry the wrong bags to the wrong occasions.
Before we begin however, I would like to present you with a dictionary of some sorts. Just so you know what I mean when I say certain names.
1. Brunch
Brunch is like the ultimate time to be subtly extra, do not waste the opportunity. While I will trust you to ensure your outfit and makeup is on point, I won’t trust you so easily with the purse part. For this occasion the best bag to carry is a Tote. It’s big enough to hold everything you will need, and makes every outfit looks like you aren’t even trying to be hot.
2. Dinner
If you’re going on a date or just hanging out with your friends for the meal, you need a purse, not necessarily for holding the money as for completing the outfit but still. In my experience an envelope, clutch or saddle purse works just fine for this event. It holds your money, keys and lipstick. I know perfect.
3. Clubbing/ Partying
Girl, if you are going out to drink responsibly and dance the night away with some prince charming only one bag will do. You must carry a wristlet. I find it very convenient that when I’m trying to dance I don’t have to be wondering where my bag is.
4. Business Meeting
So, you have to close an important business deal, you look smart and professional in your skirt or pantsuit but there’s one problem. What bag do you carry? Have no fear; your very old grandmother is here. A trapeze, doctor or tote should be just fine. It really all depends on the look you’re going for. Want to look decisive and determined? Go with a doctor. Maybe you’re looking for something that says “I do this every day” or “I’m very experienced”? Carry your tote; otherwise you might be trying to say “I’m a busy lady with a lot to do” a.k.a “HURRY UP MIKE”? Go with your trapeze. It really is that simple
5. Shopping
I never really understood why people who were planning to buy a lot of things carry a tote to the store or downtown. That’s just more work and load for you. You need something small
and convenient, a messenger or cross body will do just fine sweetheart, its cute and all but more importantly, it’s out of the way.
6. School
This seems simply huh? ‘Just carry a backpack’, but what if you don’t want to carry a backpack? What if you’re in 6th form and feel like stunting a little? I’ve got your solution. Carry your blasted backpack and go tek in yuh education. Bright! ‘Bout yuh wan carry handbag. Feel yah big ‘ooman?
7. Concert
This shouldn’t even be on the list to be honest. I thought this was common sense. That was before I saw someone carrying a clutch to a concert. Like honey, what is you doing? The best purse to carry to a concert is a wristlet. This is mainly because it’s a lot harder to lose during all the madness and it holds all the essentials in it.
8. Casual Event Such as a Launch
This is by far the only event I will allow you to wear a bucket or hobo to. That’s mainly because I have a personal thing against them. We go way back okay. Usually at launches you’re going to be buying or getting a lot of stuff and I feel that the size of the bucket and the amount of space it has that permits you to carry things is very convenient.
9. Beach/ Boat Ride
Whoooop, it’s time to drink responsibly and get mildly wild while respecting your body as the temple of the Lord, or to relax and just forget about work and all the other tedious responsibilities. A duffle bag will work just fine to carry all your stuff. It big and spacious and comes so many different colours that you’d be surprised. Let’s say you don’t have that many stuff then a nice straw bucket bag will do perfectly too. If it is a boat ride then go with a wristlet honey.
10. Night Out
A night out with the girls can be very fun and memorable. Don’t have that annoyingly inconvenient bag spoil it for you. Using a cross body or a trapeze can work well for you. You know why? They both have nice convenient straps. It really all depends on how many things you will be carrying around with you though. If it’s not that much then please go with the cross body, but if it is a lot and you can’t help it, I will allow you to take the trapeze this once.
11. A Match
Cross body. Cross body .Cross body. Cross body. Cross body. Cross body. Cross body. Cross body. Cross body. I can’t stress it enough. A wristlet can work too, but the cross body is the best fit for the situation at hand.
12. A March
If you’re going on a road march for women’s right or just a festival a wristlet is the best thing to carry. It is conveniently out of your way and barely has any weight. You won’t even notice it while you’re advocating for something you passionately care about.
N.B: This is highly opinionated.
Well love, we’ve come to the end of yet another post, thank you for reading. Remember, I post every Monday and go live on Instagram every Thursday, so follow me there @azariaanderson. Additionally, this is a reminder about my ‘Boss Bae’ series. If you r anyone you know are making boss
moves and you think they should be recognized just shoot me a dm and if I see fit I’ll post your success on my story so we can celebrate your success with you on a Wednesday.
Until next week,
Chow <3